Reality junkies

Cu mult timp in urma, citeam un articol pe internet-ul dial-up de la xnet, pe un site obscur - asa cum erau toate site-urile pe vremea aia.

Online porn videos - yet to be uploaded

Articolul - gasit dupa un efort de 10 secunde - spune urmatoarele:

You know you are an Internet junkie if...
1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
2. You get a tatoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
3. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
4. ...

A fost unul din primele contacte cu un umor non-romanesc si mi se parea amuzant atunci, pe vremea cand toata lumea avea email la hotmail, cu 3mega spatiu si se distra cu doru octavian dumitru si divertis la televizor. Ei bine, 14 ani mai tarziu, iata continuarea mea:

You are a reality junkie if:
1. You don't have a 3g data modem besides the ADSL/optical fibre permanent internet connection (plus a 3g equipped phone, just in case)
2. You don't upload photos on your Facebook account
3. Your 1 year old kid doesn't have a Facebook account
4. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and don't stop to check your blog for any new comments and masturbate while reading them
5. You print your holiday photos
6. You suck at typing smilies :._)
7. You read printed books (and in this case you are also an eco-unfriendly asshole)
8. You don't have a blog because you realise it's funnier to, you know, have actual real-life conversations with people
9. You use your maternal language while writing articles on your blog

Chiar asa, referitor la punctul 8: iti trebuie ceva imaginatie ca sa ai ce discuta cu prietenii atata timp ca sunteti conectati tot timpul (wall, instant messaging, email, tel). Adica, o discutie decurge asa:
"Sa vezi ce-am patit..."
"Ti-am citit blogul"
"Dar n-am zis despre..."
"Am vazut pozele pe fb"
"Si despre..."
"Mi-ai zis ieri pe chat"

Cu cat mai multe canale de comunicare, cu atat informatia pe care o vom avea de oferit va parea mai putina. Asadar, si vietile noastre ni se vor parea mai sarace si deprimante si chiar si mai putin interesanti vom parea cand ne vom intalni face 2 face.
Dar, fuck talking, putem face sex unii cu altii daca n-avem ce discuta, nu? Nimeni nu ne va lua acest lucru atat de adanc ancorat in realitate.

Mda.